Dear Sandy, 

Does listening to music in class actually help kids focus or is it just a chance for them to space off and not do work?

Dear Musically Inquired,

Music is something that is part of everyday life now more than ever. For music to distract us from our work it would have to depend on the task at hand. Listening to music with more difficult tasks may be distracting to students depending on the music they are listening to. Listening to fast and wordy music may distract students from their work, but instrumental or classical music may help them focus. When I was studying in France before my roller derby career, I was part of a study that determined if music was connected to students’ performance on tests. I was part of the group that listened to classical music during my lecture and got a higher grade than my friend who did not listen to classical music during the lecture. All in all, it would have to depend on the student and what they need in order to concentrate. 

Dear Sandy,

I am scared to make a final college decision, what if I choose a career path that I will end up regretting later in life?

Dear Decision Maker,

Leaving high school can be very stressful and scary, but you need to know that it is okay to not have your life planned out at such a young age. College is an experience so feel free to be undecided in what you’re doing, your counselors will help guide you through everything. Changing career paths is not the worst thing to do and if you need a couple more years to think about it then that’s fine,  just remember to stay motivated to get back on track. It is very common amongst people to go back and change their major or their career path so don’t feel alone going through that route. 

Hi Sandy, I just got into this new relationship and I love my girlfriend very much but she bites, is there anything I can do about that?

Dear Perplexed, 

First off, congratulations on your new girlfriend. You seem to care and value the relationship. Surprisingly enough it is common for girlfriends to bite their significant other so don’t feel alone in this situation. Sometimes girls just use biting to relieve stress and if you think about it you are helping her with that. If it becomes a problem then just talk with her about when and when not to do it or remind her to go easy on you if it is painful. Just remember that if your girlfriend is comfortable enough to do this with you then she really loves you and values this relationship too.

Dear Sandy,

I’m going off to college soon on a scholarship, but I feel like I’m not good or smart enough to be there. How do I overcome that mindset?

Dear Scholar, 

Going to college is a huge accomplishment and going on a scholarship is an even bigger accomplishment. This college has given you the scholarship for a reason and you need to realize that all of your hard work has truly paid off. Obviously college will be a huge change and will be so much tougher but you need to stay focused and have your mind set on your end goal. You should be proud of yourself and stay confident because the moment you start freaking yourself out then you will not have the strongest mindset to pull through. Know that you are not alone in this feeling and it’s okay to be scared, but you should realize that you are good enough to be there and in the future you will be proud of your hard work. 

Dear Sandy, 

How do I tell my teacher he’s not my favorite anymore and someone else is?

Dear Teacher’s Pet, 

Honestly, I don’t think you need to tell him, you can demonstrate with your actions. Depending on if this is a current or past teacher would determine what you should do. If this is a past teacher you consistently are going to/talking to, then maybe you withdraw from them a little bit. If this is a current teacher, then maybe you don’t talk to them as much. However, I think teachers think it’s nice to hear that they are a student’s favorite, but I don’t think that they are concerned with being a favorite. 

Dear Sandy, 

I truly just feel alone and have no idea what to do. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that everyone around me is just acting fake towards me and pity me because I don’t talk to many others. What should I do in order to help myself realize that I’m not really alone?

Dear Isolated,

Everyone deals with loneliness every now and then and it is human nature to feel alone. Honestly, I think communication is key. Talk to your friends and people around you and express how you feel. Say something like “I’ve been feeling really alone lately and need more support.” That way those people will know what you have been feeling and can try to find you help. As for your personal feelings of loneliness, depending on how extreme and how long you have been dealing with those feelings, I think you should talk to someone. Whether that be a teacher, friend, guardian, counselor or therapist, they can help you develop skills specifically for you to cope with your feelings. 

Dear Sandy,

Do you think being loyal during the talking stage is the bare minimum? Or is that only for when you’re actually in a relationship with the person

Dear Devoted,

I think it would have to depend on how long you have been talking to that person and how that person feels about you talking to other people. Communicating what you’re feeling or what you want with this person can be very helpful. However, if you have been talking for a while, yes, I think you need to be loyal, but if it’s only been a week or two, don’t depend on their loyalty. In the end, everyone has their own opinion, but you should follow what you think is right. 

Dear Sandy,

I am going away to college in a few months, and have so many emotions happening at the same time. I am super excited because I am ready to be done with school and to meet brand new people at a new place, but all of it is also very scary. I am nervous to be away from my family and friends, not dancing anymore, and taking on a harder course of school. Any advice on how to handle my nerves?

Dear Anxious and Afraid,

Leaving home can be such a scary thought but the experience will be worth it in the long run. Your family will always be there for you no matter how far away you are and they are just a phone call away. When it comes to friends they always come and go which seems so sad but when it comes to your real friends they would attempt to keep that bond and that’s all that matters. As for dancing you should try to find a studio around or try out for the dance team at the school if you want to continue on with the sport. Ending a sport can be hard and if you think it’ll hurt to stop doing what you love then continue on with it if it is going to make you happy. Taking on harder courses can be so tough so you should attempt to branch out with the students in your classes and create a study group to get through it together. Tough times will come and go but you might never know how things can turn out if you don’t experience it. 

Dear Sandy, 

How do I become more focused on things?

Dear Unfocused, 

Focusing can be a difficult task, but hopefully some of these tips might help you. Something that works for me is to write down a to-do list. Use a planner and write down what you have to complete for homework/chores/etc. Try not to do everything at once, write down what is most important or is due that day/the next day. Another tip is to take breaks. Studying for long periods of time isn’t what is best for everyone, so try taking 5-10 minute breaks after 20-30 minutes of doing work. My last tip is to listen to music. I recommend slow music without a lot of words in it or classical/instrumental music. 

Dear Sandy, 

I like my best friend but I also put her on with someone else and I really want her. Would it be best for me to fade away so I don’t mess things up?

Dear Conflicted,

I would say it all depends on how exclusive their relationship is. If they have been talking for a while or are officially together, I don’t think it’s best to confess your feelings. If the person is good for your friend, you need to let them be. If everything is still fresh, I would take the opportunity now before it’s too late. However, if she is showing signs of attraction towards you, you should confess your feelings. No matter what happens do not let this situation ruin your bond, friendship will always be more important.

Dear Sandy,

How can I become a better friend?

Dear Bettering Bestie,

The most important thing when it comes to friendship is communication. Keeping in touch with them shows the importance of the relationship and how much you care for them. If your friend is ever going through tough times and they turn to you for help then be there to support them. Always be there to boost their confidence and their well-being. This can make the overall friendship stronger and create a healthier relationship.